


Meeting the Family

by waterbird13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Grief, M/M, Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny had a family long before he met Sam. He needs to find them, even if all that's left are graves, and he invites Sam along with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting the Family

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone--  
> I'm in the process of moving some of my Tumblr things over, so here's an old Sambenny story. Here, Sam and Benny take a trip into Benny's past.  
> Warnings for mourning, and dead relatives, I suppose.  
> I hope you enjoy.

            It’s a cold, rainy morning when they set out, and Sam can’t help but think it might be a warning. Turn back now. You’ll be safer that way. You’ll be happier. Keep going, and you’ll just be wet and depressed and gain nothing overall.

            They drive on anyways, Sam behind the wheel and Benny quiet in the passenger’s seat. Sam gets the feeling that Benny won’t speak a word until Sam needs directions, and he’s a long way from that point.

            The big part of the drive is getting to Louisiana, which Sam can do in his sleep. It’s only the last few hours where he’ll need directions when Benny can provide them and the map when he can’t.

            The silence is stifling and Sam wonders if Benny too thinks that this might have been a bad idea.

            If Benny wants to do this, though, Sam will listen, and be there, and offer whatever support he can.

            Sam ends up having to consult the map a lot. Things have changed, clearly, and Benny doesn’t recognize the place he once knew so well anymore.

            Sam knows that they’re at their destination but Benny doesn’t seem to realize it yet. He stops the car and reaches for the door, hand lingering there, waiting for Benny to make the first move. 

            “This is it?” Benny croaks.

            “Yeah,” Sam says.

            “It’s gone,” Benny says quietly. “It’s all gone.”

            It squeezes Sam’s heart, to hear that confusion, see that lost look, but he can’t pretend that he didn’t know this would happen. He sincerely doubted Benny’s childhood home would be standing after all this time.

            The area has remained undeveloped, at least this spot, but the house itself is long since gone.

            Benny looks around. “I know…this is it,” he nods. “Things are comin’ back. Those trees, the way they sit…see? Yeah, this is…was…ours.”

            “Do you want to look?” Sam asks.

            Benny hesitates but nods. “Might as well,” he says. “We came all this way.”

            Sam doesn’t say that he’d gladly made the drive, and it would still be worth it even if all Benny wanted to do was stare out the window, as long as that was what made Benny happy. He lets Benny climb out of the car and follows him.

            Benny circles the property slowly, looking here and there but not speaking.

            “I wonder what happened to it,” Benny says once he’s made his loop.

            “We can research that,” Sam says quietly. “The library, old newspapers…we might be able to find out, if you don’t mind delaying setting out again for another day.”

            Benny looks almost hopeful. “No, won’t mind,” he says. “Everything else will keep. Not like the dead are waiting for us. And…I’d like to know.”

            Sam nods. “Right.” He mentally revises their trip, adds two days onto this journey into Benny’s past, and thinks if they passed the library on the way here. But he doesn’t rush Benny, lets him stay at the property where he was born and raised for as long as he likes.

            Benny eventually walks over to Sam, pressing close to his side and Sam takes the hint, wraps Benny in a hug, and they just stand there on the old lot, until Benny pulls away.

            “We should go,” he says quietly. “We have a lot to do.”

 

            The house burnt to the ground about five years after Benny was turned into a vampire. No one was inside, and Benny’s remaining family–his older brother and his wife and their son–simply relocated.

            “At least they lived,” Benny says quietly, and Sam nods, although he hasn’t gone looking for these people yet, doesn’t know the circumstances of their lives and deaths and doesn’t want to promise Benny anything just yet.

            It takes another four hours to find them and their graves, and their next destination is the cemetery where most of Benny’s family was laid to rest, his brother beside his parents and his wife beside him, their son and his wife there too, along with their three children. 

            Sam makes a mental note to do the research for a whole genealogy at some point. He thinks Benny might like that.

            Sam stays back at the graves, lets Benny mourn his family over a century too late.

 

            Afterwards, Benny looks drained and Sam makes the decision to find a motel just out of town rather than try to drive to their next destination.

            He settles himself and Benny onto the bed and pulls Benny close, letting the vampire rest his head against Sam’s heart.

            “Thank you,” Benny says quietly after what feels like hours.

“I haven’t done anything,” Sam protests.

            “You came,” Benny says. “I know…this is weird. Unusual. An' painful. But…you’re here for me.”

            “Always,” Sam promises. “And don’t worry about me. We both know this is harder on you.”

            Benny grunts and doesn’t say anything.

            They stay like that all night. Today was hard, hard to see Benny like this, but Sam selfishly thinks that tomorrow will be worse, both for Benny and for himself. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to deal with it, but supposes he has to be. This trip is about Benny, and getting him closure, and whether or not it hurts Sam a bit in the process is really beside the point.

 

            They leave just after dawn, giving Sam enough time to eat a bagel from the continental breakfast and swallow half a cup of scalding coffee before they get on the road.

            It takes them only an hour, and that’s with getting lost once.

            There’s a house on this property and Sam knows without asking that this isn’t original. Benny’s eyes practically glaze over the house, looking around at various features in the area.

            “It was small,” he says eventually. “But comfortable. I mean, good enough. We were happy.”

            Sam closes his eyes. He does not want to hear about Benny’s wife. He doesn’t. She’s been dead quite a long time, she’s gone, and Sam is still selfish enough that he doesn’t want to hear about her.

            He doesn’t interrupt Benny.

            “She had the babies here, you know,” he says. “Two of ‘em. Beautiful little things. They grew up here. Think they did, at least. Don’t really know what happened after I…after I was gone.”

            Benny stares around and Sam starts to fidget slightly, sure the people who actually occupy the property now will notice them at any moment.

            “Do you want to…find their graves?” Sam asks quietly. “I can probably find it at the library.”

            Benny flinches at the word graves but he nods. “Sure. Nothing here anymore anyways.”

            Their graves aren’t too far away, in a little church cemetery. Benny’s children grew to be old. His wife lived another twenty years after Benny disappeared.

            The blow comes when they realize that she’s buried beside another man, and two of the children surrounding them aren’t Benny’s. Benny takes it as stoically as he can.

            “Guess I couldn’t expect…it’s what I wanted,” he says lamely. “She was happy, I hope. That’s what’s important.”

            Sam refuses to intrude on this, on Benny reaching down to touch the graves of his wife, his children, and even two of his grandchildren. He speaks quietly and Sam refuses to listen. Benny has welcomed Sam into this part of his life by having him here, and Sam doesn’t need to intrude any further.

            It’s hours before Benny seems ready to go and Sam doesn’t rush him, just watches and waits. But finally Benny turns away after one last touch to each grave, and Sam follows him back to the car.

            “You can always come back, you know,” Sam says quietly.

            Benny nods, but says, “not for a while. I can’t…I can’t do that again for a while.”

            He’s quiet for a second and Sam sits there, waiting for some direction. Finally, Benny says, “let’s go home, Sam.”

            When they reach Kansas, they’re not talking much, but Benny has reached over and laced his fingers with Sam’s about a hundred miles ago. And the sun emerges from behind the clouds, lighting up the world in a way it hasn’t in days. The clouds pass over it, casting the world back in shadow, but it always re-emerges just as bright as before. Sam can’t help but think that it’s a promise.


End file.
